Camouflaged Culprits

Ugh — assholes! This is what happens when you don’t spend enough time in the garden. Jerks take over. Green jerks.

Collards in Crisis

Ah fuck it. I should just rip out these collards anyway. One is trying to bolt and I need the space. I really need to get out there this weekend and figure out how to make my tiller narrow in order to clean house. And plant, damnit. All the huge babies need to go in no matter what. Especially the pumpkins. They’re absolutely the most ridiculous seedlings I’ve ever had.

Here, Chicky Chicky

Bastard Slugs

are eating the strawberries, each and every one. First the ripening ones were mysteriously becoming limp threads, then the white ones were getting chomped. Plucking the victimized fruit revealed the little slippery perpetrators in action.

So here’s to you, bastards! Have a nice warm Pabst Blue Ribbon in a pie plate. I know there are infinity of you, but maybe taking some of you out will leave a berry or two for me.