Organic gardening, amiright?
So I’ve been battling squash bugs, which initially exclusively entailed hand squishing and crying. But then my brother Winston suggested diatomaceous earth. A bit of online reasearch confirmed it and also recommended neem oil. I excitedly dug in my garden shed and sprayed one evening and dusted the next.
While thoroughly drenching my plants in a maximum concentration of neem oil, the bugs showered without care. I believe one asked me to pass him the shampoo right before I squeezed his guts out.
The next evening I came armed with my bag of diatomaceous earth. Noticing that the neem oil seemed to have burned the leaves, but that there were no obvious legions of critters scurrying, I happily began heavily dusting everything I could. My adorable (yet idiotic) puppy rolled all around in the dusty squash beds and was subsequently bathed and banned from the garden. (The non-food grade DE is like 20% “other” ingredient(s)….and I’ll be damned if there’s a way to find out what it is.)
A few days later I realized that I had some withering, unpolinated squash and come to think of it, I hadn’t been seeing my normal crazy numbers of morning bees. Holy crap! Did I kill my bees? Or did they just break up with my garden because of my crazy DE cloud? I decided was time to rinse off the dust layer. Hopefully my weapon had been in place long enough to make the bugs go somewhere else (further than my poor ripening tomatoes they’re presently contaminating).
Rinse rinse rinse….huh. A few really yellow dead looking plants. And bugs. Lots of bugs. Scurrying around in the lovely shower. Scurry scurry scurry. They don’t give a fuuuck.
And check out these eggs that look like they got laid ON TOP of the diatomaceous earth.
Oh and lets not leave out the beauty of new life that hatched during my inactive battle.
I squished whatever I could easily see. Probably about 100 nymphs and adults. But I didn’t go hunting. I’m done. They won and I’m firing all the garden toads and spiders for incompetency.
But I may want to hire this guy. What he lacks in ability, he sure makes up for in tenacity.
This wasp was repeatedly trying to fly off with his dead grasshopper lunch.
Squash bugs: Fuck you.
I have plucked your mating asses off my cucumbers, my tomatoes, and of course squash. I have crushed you under my boots hoping to prevent you from taking over. And now I see this:
You’ve managed to infest my lovely plants with your horrible little eggs.
And many of your eggs have hatched into horrible little nymphs.
And I get it: You’re just bugs, doing buggy things. But you weren’t around here before I grew these plants, so go the hell back to where you came from or die.
I crushed everything I found with my bare hands, taking thorns into my finger tips. But I’m afraid that you still may win and destroy all the buttery goodness that is the yellow squash we so adore.