Waging Holy War

Squash bugs: Fuck you.

I have plucked your mating asses off my cucumbers, my tomatoes, and of course squash. I have crushed you under my boots hoping to prevent you from taking over. And now I see this:

You’ve managed to infest my lovely plants with your horrible little eggs.

And many of your eggs have hatched into horrible little nymphs.

And I get it: You’re just bugs, doing buggy things. But you weren’t around here before I grew these plants, so go the hell back to where you came from or die.

I crushed everything I found with my bare hands, taking thorns into my finger tips. But I’m afraid that you still may win and destroy all the buttery goodness that is the yellow squash we so adore.

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Author: Morgan Mill

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